1. |
||||
|
(*intro*)
poem:
yes lord yes lord, why i’m so absorbed?
you got me seein orbs
and my fuckin lungs is scorched
back when chris was flippin gore
i was insecure
about my self
i ain’t give a fuck my nigga, i still don’t give a fuck my nigga
i really don’t give a fuck about myself or my mental health and i’m just
…
and i do,
…
i think i still love the idea of u, i know i do, i know it
…
and i can’t, and i can’t let go, ima fucking go
i can’t let go cause baby i still fucking love u
…
i love u with all my heart.
…
i lost myself, i lost my heart, i lost a part of myself
cause i still fucking love u…
…
got me prayin that i see you again, mama i don’t think that i could be her friend, my nigga i don’t think that i could be her
…
i still love you, i still hate you, i still love you, i still want you, i still need you
…
i lost my chest in this sesh, this bulletproof vest aint put me to fucking rest
mama i was trying to be my fucking best.
…
i know,
…
i was trying, i know i was tired, i know i was dying on the inside, my nigga i was fucking…gone bruh
i can’t love you. i feel so fucking delusional
…
i’m so fucking delusional,
…
i still got these dreams of you,
i still love the idea of you.
|
||||
2. |
sentimental (*gloria*)
02:17
|
|||
|
(*gloria*)
verse:
i’m in that one mood, that leaves you dewey eyed and tender hearted
reminiscing on the better times, please don’t get me started
ima call my plug up and he gon send da man to fix my sentiments
and play me that music that gave me love and tenderness
this that sinner shit, the devil works hard but i move smarter
i look in the mirror and all i see is my father
bushy eyebrows, nice smile, and eyes that cried enough tears for the nile
i’m 20 now but i still been a couple miles
i let the rays of The Sun warm my heart up and nothing can harm us
melanoma ain’t in my corner
i basked in the light
i used to put up a fight but now i know
i’m not no Oscar De La Hoya but i argue like a lawyer
this that cosmic music, i let it ring like Reverend King,
my main manifestation is that the Lord Help Me To Be
I’m singing like Jon B, John C in this case, cause when i’m chasin the Trane, I’m running away from the pain
maybe it’s the weed that destroyed my vain,
or my perception of my winner’s smile
that’s been hiding in shame.
i used to conflicted like the definition of vain
…
|
||||
3. |
||||
|
(*sun down*)
verse:
godspeed playin with my windows down
mama always askin why i gotta frown
ion even see my niggas when i’m back in town
hoping i meet ends with my own sound
money down the drain yeah it’s all brown
…
feel to my knees, yeah i hit the ground
my love was all greed and now ur gon now
…
niggas lost his queen where the fuck my crown
…
nigga gave up weed gotta buy a pound
spirits taste like sunflowers in my mouth
chainsmoking cigs gotta get it out
only way to cope is to make my lungs brown
prayin for myself gotta make out
prayin for my niggas we gon make it out
…
why the sun always gotta come down?
|
||||
4. |
||||
|
(*my sun smile*)
intro:
i could be dead, with my soul gone away in the wind as my final breath flows with the air
but the simple sound of her voice would carry my soul back into my body
…
verse 1:
i remember when i first met you,
i was thinking in my head was it god who sent you?
i spent my whole time wondering if a nigga could get you, but i wasn’t the first one who had met you
these months go by,
and the times flies and we find ourselves staring into each others own eyes,
talking about dreams of a wedding ring, and seeing many things but now both of us blind
and when i saw your face i was pondering on what it’s like
to feel a spark that burns at the right time
like a comic in the night sky
i knew i met you at the right time
and when i heard your voice i was wanting to say
that we could be grand like a show at that matinee
now u gotta man it ain’t the same
and now your eyes blossom like u got flowers in vase
…
chorus:
and it ain’t the same
…
verse 2:
and i never ran away from my feelings
but loving u got me understanding dylan
and i’ve been going through a lot,
since the age of a teen
seen my life flash when i was contemplating
suicide
been on my mind, i hope my brains don’t blow out
but you’ve been loving a nigga since the waves and a show out
of all my past aggressions, you really heaven sent
i’ve been better since i met her
her voice is light, like a feather
and she can carry a nigga through any weather
at least i thought, i caught cold when she ain’t pick up my heart
why the hell we so far apart from what we once was?
we used to be like doves in a cage,
but now she done flew far away
and mama i haven’t been sleeping through the pain
cause it ain’t been the same no
…
chorus:
it ain’t the same
|
||||
5. |
||||
|
(*love didn’t last*)
verse:
a lot of cold summers spent on the pavement lookin 4 lent
there ways days when i was praying made up for rent
we prayin that we had tents to shield us from the government
my nigga
blacK smith had to come back and spit again
my triggers
be aligned with the red dot
my guys be prayin that we find you at the right time
we spent hella lifetimes looking for the right sky
all we had to do was open up our third eye
i put the bird eyes view down
it gave me a permanent frown
cold summers beat me black and blue like it was chris brown
i spent the summer drivin round town, lookin for u
but i knew that deep down that we were thru
i saw your post when i was mad down
sad sounds on this record keep my feet grounded
and i was drowning, aloof clowning my situations i ain’t get it
i invented this cough, my fam thinks i got it from the pandemic
and now i stand in it
a world where niggas clown academics
and the ones who be savin and killing be the main chemics
and i’m posed to…. stay in it
i pray the finish line ain’t really in my main vision nigga
|
||||
6. |
||||
|
(*who can step 2 me*)
verse:
who’s your favorite rapper?
and if it ain’t the blacksmith im coming at ya!
so please pray to your local pastor
and fuck the whips and chains and fuck the master
…
the man hated me cause i was money getting back then
so we stab the so called captain
cause ain’t no thrashing
my lineage,
if the money good my nigga we is spending it
…
smelling so good and i’m feeling like a million
and i was in the booth yeah straight killing it
baby please say my name
she said “wavyxtrill bitch”
i meant dylan, feeling like world’s greatest villain
i’m looking down on you niggas up top from the ceiling
she asked me if i wanted her i said i was unwilling
cause baby girl rn i am fulfilling
…
my prophecies, get the fuck off of my property
you want a cassette? well nigga come shop with me
i cut through the competition, i’m so sharp with ease
like a green light my nigga there is no stopping me
|
||||
7. |
SPINNING (*APOLOGY*)
02:40
|
|||
|
(*APOLOGY*)
verse:
i closed a door on us and went on to enjoy my night
little did i know that i had walked right out of your life
tryna be so appreciative of all of my friends
that i realized that i had gave up tryna be your man
we argued over this and that, lost attention got me scared to track where we were and where we are in this day in fact
i used to be scared to call you back because i knew one day that if would result to that
…
miscommunication on my end made me lose my best friend
now i’m in this day and age all alone on my end
it was my fault i learned my lesson, but u won’t let me back in
maybe i manifested the wrong things and now i’m trapped in
this cycle of sadness and weathering madness
tryna to find the next you but it’s ended it gladness
of once having u and being wrapped in your fucking magic
DAMN WHAT HAPPENED?
…
maybe it was like all the other girls who gave me attention i had never seen
or maybe it was the guys that had made your eyes bling
or maybe it was that time that u lost that fucking promise ring
i promised u things and never followed through with them
cause then i felt like loosing them and being on the musing end
i’m so sorry for the confusing end
…
chorus:
i’ve been runnin every since
and wondering if we can still just be friends
and no i’m not perfect i’m jus like any man
and man i jus miss my friend
and no i’m not perfect
but i know im worth it
maybe in the next life this would be working
|
||||
8. |
||||
|
(*dis not posed 2 make sense*)
poem:
ion wanna see u again,
…
i was in the deep end, sinking
i closed my eyes cause i was scared of blinkin
i lost some souls in the span of months and i was barely breathin
i saw the window open and i was thinkin,
if i jumped
would i ever meet my fuckin demons?
i stopped and pondered if i lost my sequence,
would this trigger pull me under if i schooled my grievance?
instead i turned to the bottle, it left me dry heaving
i was going full full throttle, hoping god wouldn’t be conceiving
…
his thoughts on his child that was contemplating leaving the same place that left my heart freezing
broken love turned to me to find the meaning
the distance between me broke me and i was shattered to pieces
…
that’s why close to the end you seemed to notice my seething
lust was the only way to ever keep us from leavin
without airing out my increasing
…
appetite for the afterlife
i looked forward to leave the pillows wet at night
cuz i was scared of life, that’s why i …
…
became that unmovin friend
that’s why i turned to the music to help me find my lens
cause i couldn’t see
i was lost in my own path off cigarettes and mysteries
and maybe i jus miss the weed, and miss the dreams of you
and miss the things i had viewved in my life that i never had
love was never taught from my fucking dad
and i can’t blame him i can only blame myself
i wish i never opened up about my mental health
…
cause ion never wanna see u again.
…
ending:
smoked some pot and i done lost myself
i lost myself tryna find u
and i can’t ever do that again
i can’t never do that again, i can’t
…
i got ashes on my forces
nigga asking bout the distortion sound
mama had me at 19
i wish she got that … now
…
got money all in pockets
and i still gotta frown
i jus ain’t been feeling like dyl now
…
ima call the plug up and ima cop, me a KD
and ima let my brain rot
…
i’ve been going through it,
and i’ve been going through a lot
|
||||
the blacK smith New York, New York
composer, producer, vibraphonist, & wordsmith.
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